Last night on the way home from work right around Buchanan Hwy my fuel light came on, now I of course was not surprised by this since all day I had watched as my needle drifted closer and closer with an almost reckless abandon to the Big E. Now tired and dirty from a day at the office I found myself having to make a choice, do I stop at Scott's on the way home and fuel up or do I deal with it in the morning? Most of you who know me understand that as a level 10 procrastinator it took me all of five seconds to decide to put it off. When I got up this morning I was running around frantically (as always) and I remembered I didn't get gas.
Normally this is fine but on this day I was running out of time and I did not have a debit card. This means I would have to go in to the store and long story... well long, when i made it there and got in line I got behind the dreaded lottery lady, you know her, she can only order one ticket at a time and has to really look for 30 seconds or so before she decides on each of her fifteen tickets. Behind her and in front of me was Mr. Specific Cigarette (although his work uniform said Mike, I choose to call him Mr Specific Cigarette), he needed camel special blend or something like that, it took the lady forever to find them found them, then he informed her he needed a soft pack. This all before I could even pump my gas! Then of course because I paid cash I had that super slow pumping final fifty cents of gas that actually takes longer than the first twenty nine dollars and fifty cents.
I say all that to prove how bad I hate getting gas, I put it off until I get myself in a bind like I did this morning... it is just who I am. Sadly often my spiritual life is much like the tank of my Titan, I neglect it in the name of procrastination, not as an act of disobedience persay, more of a act of thoughtlessness . Based on conversations I have had with other folks I don't think I am alone in this act of pushing aside spiritual things. I get so wrapped up in the here and now that I try to coast by on previous fill-ups. I neglect time with God and try to coast up life's bumpy roads and to most it looks as everything is kosher but inside I am drained and about ready to break down.
Much like an engine there are tale-tale signs of spiritual low fuel, an engine stops when empty but a spiritual emptiness reveals itself through action. For me these actions are often being quick to anger, short on love, impatient with people, cynical, critical, disobedient and selfish. I find myself in these moments of low fueliness (I am aware that is not a word) blinded to the big picture and the ways of God and begin to focus attention squarely back on me, I can say with confidence I am not being like Christ in these times.
Just as a car and a soul needs fuel so does the body, the bible gives a great analogy when it describes the characteristics of a life fueled by the spirit in Galatians when he describes "The Fruit of the Spirit". These traits are love, joy, peace, long suffering, kindness,goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control. To me I see the fruit in the sense of food as well (imagine that!). I think of it this way, when I eat right my body preforms correctly. When my diet consist of fruit and healthy options I have more energy, less fat, lower cholesterol and clearer skin compared to when I eat a lot of fast food and junk. Likewise when I allow the spirit (through spending time in the word, prayer, worship and fellowship) to teach me, guide me and correct me, I grow more spiritually healthy due to the good nutrients I am putting in my soul over the selfish junk that fill this place when I allow myself to approach the spiritual E.
My prayer is that I would stop being like that ditty by Jackson Browne (Running on Empty) and more like that VBS song Pastor Tommy sung (give me gas in my ford, keep me truckin' for the Lord). Life is too hilly and bumpy to try to coast on fumes, I need to fill the tank everyday!
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Monday, April 4, 2011
Hypocrisy, Intellegence and a Generalizaton of Faith
The subject of this blog is one I have been mulling over for a while now, I have allowed myself a few weeks to really formulate not only what I am trying to say but how I will say it as well. I have struggled with the right words in an effort not to offend those to whom it may pertain. So here it is and I hope you read understanding that the tone is not angry or bitter but rather a recognition of a mindset I have noticed among my unchurched friends, especially the young ones. I say it as a defense for my faith as well as a challenge of your mindset pertaining to the christian faith.
First let's say it... Hypocrites... yes they are real and yes I am one, I struggle in my faith. I make mistakes, I have hurt people and even perhaps you. If this is the case than I would love to apologize to you in person or at least personally (not going to give a half-hearted general apology). That being said let's move past the general hypocrisy stigma of the church to something that I feel many of you have wrongfully done to me ( I know poor pitiful me). I as a human being and a christian can be intelligent (not saying I am, saying I can). I have noticed this trend in the world where if someone professes their faith they are automatically dismissed as a simpleton or a right wing religious nut job.
It is as if to be a christian I must check my brain at the door, this just isn't true! I am not the kind of guy who just took it because it was gave to me, since I was a teenager I have tested my faith, I have looked at many things in the church, in scripture and "things of God" with a cynical eye, only to find these things (well the true things of God anyway) to be more real and more true than anything else in life. And I find this need to classify all Christians in to one group really ironic. Through my years of youth ministry one problem I always heard that people had with the church is the fact that historically the church has lump everyone into one big group, when in reality that is what the world does when it dismisses us as not-so-brights (not defending the churches lack of compassion, just making an observation).
In the world there are these anti-religious mindsets and catch phrases like "free your mind" from religion, "think for yourself", stop "going with the flow". This has always seemed peculiar to me, it is as if once someone leaves the church they begin using more of their brain like Bradley Cooper in that new movie.
Free Your Mind??? from what instruction? do you think that stops outside the walls of the church? It is not a question of whether you are being instructed but rather where your instructions are coming from.
Think for yourself??? Really, so you are not influenced by anyone, somehow your thoughts are strictly your own? Well congrats because have accomplished something very few have! We are all influenced... who told you to think for yourself? John Lennon, well he influenced you. Your friends who you spitball big life thoughts off of... they influence you. The way you were raised, Influenced!
You see we all have ways of thinking and personal convictions that come from the thoughts and actions of others. Simply believing these thoughts based on reason and conviction in reality look and sound a lot like the change of mindset that happens when one comes to Christ.. You are just accepting a different path of instruction, one that is dictated not by the Bible or the words of Christ but by the thoughts of yourself and those you allow to influence you. See so my purpose in this blog is not so much to persuade you to accept Christ today (although I wish you would), it is more to help you see that not following Christ does not equate to freedom from following.
Personally, I KNOW the gospel to be true, years I have spent proving it in my own heart, I have heard the negative, I have faced them and not pretended not to notice, I have also dismissed much of the fluff that seems positive in following Christ. This weeding out of falsehoods and recognition of truth has made me more confident in Christ and his gospel than ever before. You see in reality I do follow but I also think, the ironic thing is you do too no matter what path you chose.
So if you say "Justin, You are an idiot", I ask you this. Am I an idiot because you have personally seen me act like one or have known me long enough to decide I am an idiot based on our personal relationship... Then I say "Okay, you might have a point". On the other hand if you dismiss me as an idiot based on the fact I am a christian and follow the teachings of the Bible and of Christ, if you can't respect my opinion because I don't free my mind of religion or don't think for myself. Than we share the title of hypocrisy because the only thing that differentiates us is how we are instructed and influenced!
As for the lack of scripture in the blog... If it bothered you let me know and I will hopefully explain to you why there isn't any today. If you get why... good!
First let's say it... Hypocrites... yes they are real and yes I am one, I struggle in my faith. I make mistakes, I have hurt people and even perhaps you. If this is the case than I would love to apologize to you in person or at least personally (not going to give a half-hearted general apology). That being said let's move past the general hypocrisy stigma of the church to something that I feel many of you have wrongfully done to me ( I know poor pitiful me). I as a human being and a christian can be intelligent (not saying I am, saying I can). I have noticed this trend in the world where if someone professes their faith they are automatically dismissed as a simpleton or a right wing religious nut job.
It is as if to be a christian I must check my brain at the door, this just isn't true! I am not the kind of guy who just took it because it was gave to me, since I was a teenager I have tested my faith, I have looked at many things in the church, in scripture and "things of God" with a cynical eye, only to find these things (well the true things of God anyway) to be more real and more true than anything else in life. And I find this need to classify all Christians in to one group really ironic. Through my years of youth ministry one problem I always heard that people had with the church is the fact that historically the church has lump everyone into one big group, when in reality that is what the world does when it dismisses us as not-so-brights (not defending the churches lack of compassion, just making an observation).
In the world there are these anti-religious mindsets and catch phrases like "free your mind" from religion, "think for yourself", stop "going with the flow". This has always seemed peculiar to me, it is as if once someone leaves the church they begin using more of their brain like Bradley Cooper in that new movie.
Free Your Mind??? from what instruction? do you think that stops outside the walls of the church? It is not a question of whether you are being instructed but rather where your instructions are coming from.
Think for yourself??? Really, so you are not influenced by anyone, somehow your thoughts are strictly your own? Well congrats because have accomplished something very few have! We are all influenced... who told you to think for yourself? John Lennon, well he influenced you. Your friends who you spitball big life thoughts off of... they influence you. The way you were raised, Influenced!
You see we all have ways of thinking and personal convictions that come from the thoughts and actions of others. Simply believing these thoughts based on reason and conviction in reality look and sound a lot like the change of mindset that happens when one comes to Christ.. You are just accepting a different path of instruction, one that is dictated not by the Bible or the words of Christ but by the thoughts of yourself and those you allow to influence you. See so my purpose in this blog is not so much to persuade you to accept Christ today (although I wish you would), it is more to help you see that not following Christ does not equate to freedom from following.
Personally, I KNOW the gospel to be true, years I have spent proving it in my own heart, I have heard the negative, I have faced them and not pretended not to notice, I have also dismissed much of the fluff that seems positive in following Christ. This weeding out of falsehoods and recognition of truth has made me more confident in Christ and his gospel than ever before. You see in reality I do follow but I also think, the ironic thing is you do too no matter what path you chose.
So if you say "Justin, You are an idiot", I ask you this. Am I an idiot because you have personally seen me act like one or have known me long enough to decide I am an idiot based on our personal relationship... Then I say "Okay, you might have a point". On the other hand if you dismiss me as an idiot based on the fact I am a christian and follow the teachings of the Bible and of Christ, if you can't respect my opinion because I don't free my mind of religion or don't think for myself. Than we share the title of hypocrisy because the only thing that differentiates us is how we are instructed and influenced!
As for the lack of scripture in the blog... If it bothered you let me know and I will hopefully explain to you why there isn't any today. If you get why... good!
Saturday, March 26, 2011
Why I Am Not Allowed To Wear Pajamas To Church!
Ok, so a lot has been going on since I last blogged ...or posted... or got my blizog on (choose which everyone you like best). I am sure most of you are aware Rachel and I welcomed our baby boy Justus Eugene into the world on March 6. He was 8 ponds 15 ounces and 20 inches long, he was however 5 weeks early and we spent a week in the NICU. But now he has been home for almost two weeks and the sleep is few and far between, I call him Benjamin Button because he looks and acts like a little old man. All night he grumps and groans, not crying just making this grumble sound. So that is a personal little tidbit and an explanation for the few weeks I took off.
Now, back to the blizog or whatever, I had a conversation with some folks this week and it was based on the old "Sunday Best" argument. Let me go ahead and stop here and say if you are an occasional reader of this blog you are aware that I have had moments were I gazed upon the outward appearance and tried to make a statement about someone in a church setting. I am not proud of this but I being a product of the church all my life have certain thought processes I am trying to overcome myself.
So we began discussing this church dress code unwritten law thing that seems in place in most churches today. Their answers were not anything I hadn't heard before, they said "We should give our best to God" and "It is a sign of respect". We discussed on and if I am being honest they made some valid points along the way. In theory I don't know that it is really wrong, like most things men touch it can be made wrong but the act of looking nice at church is not sinful, neither is going in your pajamas (that is unless it would cause others to lust, which is why I don't wear pajamas to church).
Ok now my take... Dressing nice to attend church while not wrong is not right either, it is simply what you have got on. I am pretty sure the bible is explicitly clear about God's take on the outward appearance of man... HE DON'T CARE, He is concerned with your heart (I Peter 3:3). Dressing up as a show of respect is not a spiritual act of worship but a cultural idea. We put on our best to go on dates and to dinner, to go to a business meeting, To meet important people and of course to go to church. What is the common thread amongst all these scenarios (besides church hopefully). Well we dress up to go out so that when we get home we can get a little smoochy smoochy (at least the guys do), we dress up for our business meeting to impress our peers and potential clients to further our careers and we dress up to meet famous people because we want to look impressive to people who impress us. It is all about impressing someone, so the question is who are we trying to impress at church? In most cases I truly believe it is not to impress others but in a weird way impress God. The problem like we stated earlier is our fashion sense and freshly pressed suits doesn't even catch his eye.
I have personally lived on both sides of this argument and while I realize the flaw in the "Best Dressed" mentality I still find myself having to overcome this mindset at times. I do believe that many make their attire a spiritual statement on both ends of the spectrum. Sometimes we put on our best to show people how well we have it together and give off this vibe of "Check me out". On the other end sometimes people dress so down to basically say "hey check me out, I get it". Both of these scenarios are attempts to bring the attention to ourselves which is a disservice to God. Overall I say we be who we are and wear what we wear, this Sunday let's spend less time on our attire and focus more on being on fire (yeah that was cheesy!). So tell me what you think, why I am I wrong?...or maybe even right.... but probably wrong.
Question of the Week
In your church...Altar or no Altar? Which do you prefer?
Now, back to the blizog or whatever, I had a conversation with some folks this week and it was based on the old "Sunday Best" argument. Let me go ahead and stop here and say if you are an occasional reader of this blog you are aware that I have had moments were I gazed upon the outward appearance and tried to make a statement about someone in a church setting. I am not proud of this but I being a product of the church all my life have certain thought processes I am trying to overcome myself.
So we began discussing this church dress code unwritten law thing that seems in place in most churches today. Their answers were not anything I hadn't heard before, they said "We should give our best to God" and "It is a sign of respect". We discussed on and if I am being honest they made some valid points along the way. In theory I don't know that it is really wrong, like most things men touch it can be made wrong but the act of looking nice at church is not sinful, neither is going in your pajamas (that is unless it would cause others to lust, which is why I don't wear pajamas to church).
Ok now my take... Dressing nice to attend church while not wrong is not right either, it is simply what you have got on. I am pretty sure the bible is explicitly clear about God's take on the outward appearance of man... HE DON'T CARE, He is concerned with your heart (I Peter 3:3). Dressing up as a show of respect is not a spiritual act of worship but a cultural idea. We put on our best to go on dates and to dinner, to go to a business meeting, To meet important people and of course to go to church. What is the common thread amongst all these scenarios (besides church hopefully). Well we dress up to go out so that when we get home we can get a little smoochy smoochy (at least the guys do), we dress up for our business meeting to impress our peers and potential clients to further our careers and we dress up to meet famous people because we want to look impressive to people who impress us. It is all about impressing someone, so the question is who are we trying to impress at church? In most cases I truly believe it is not to impress others but in a weird way impress God. The problem like we stated earlier is our fashion sense and freshly pressed suits doesn't even catch his eye.
I have personally lived on both sides of this argument and while I realize the flaw in the "Best Dressed" mentality I still find myself having to overcome this mindset at times. I do believe that many make their attire a spiritual statement on both ends of the spectrum. Sometimes we put on our best to show people how well we have it together and give off this vibe of "Check me out". On the other end sometimes people dress so down to basically say "hey check me out, I get it". Both of these scenarios are attempts to bring the attention to ourselves which is a disservice to God. Overall I say we be who we are and wear what we wear, this Sunday let's spend less time on our attire and focus more on being on fire (yeah that was cheesy!). So tell me what you think, why I am I wrong?...or maybe even right.... but probably wrong.
Question of the Week
In your church...Altar or no Altar? Which do you prefer?
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
A Wedding Feast and Humble Pie!
I will start this blog out by admitting that many of these thoughts are not my own, they come from wiser people who have a better grasp on the ways of God than I. For instance this blog is fueled by equal parts my life and by a recent sermon podcast I heard by Mark Driscoll on The Parable of the Wedding Feast (if you are into podcast you should check out what Driscoll is doing now, he is going through the book of Luke... it has been awesome thus far. Check out Mark Driscoll or Mars Hill Church Seattle to get it.) So basically if you know the parable of the wedding feast you know it is overall a story of pride and placement. I myself have felt as though I have been living this parable for the past two months.
Not that I think I was proud in my position as youth pastor... I don't think I really was (you may feel different, and the fact I say i am not proud in that position actually signifies a little pride in not being proud) but I suffered with more of an overall pride of life. But I can now look back at many things that has occurred in this new year and see how God is starchily opposing my pride. Whether it was my inauspicious departure, my quick replacement, my foiled plans of a church world tour or of course the great blog fiasco of 2011, I am coming face to face with big pride issues in my life. There are much more intimate moments and personal issues where God is allowing me to let go of my pride but since the great blog fiasco I might just keep'em to myself.
For those of you who do not know about the blog fiasco, a few weeks ago I posted a blog and in discussed the church we are frequenting now. I shared a certain thought that entered my head about the way some things were done and the way someone looked. I in that same moment as the thought popped in my head realized the hypocrisy of judging by appearance and repented for it. Anyway some friends of ours at Crossview read it and then passed it along to many of the staff members at the church. I find out and became very embarrassed by my honesty, they of course were just pumped we like the church but from my view I judged the pastor which could create an awkward and even negative first impression."Hi, My name is Justin, I am a judgemental jerk who doesn't like your shoes and has a very narrow opinion of God, nice to meet you". Anyway this Sunday I went to speak to the Executive pastor and we began to talk and then he realized who I was and said "Hey, You're The Blog Guy!". Humility party of 1!
Anyway all my personal examples aside Mark Driscoll made a point that in that very moment driving home from work shook me to my core. He basically said that humility by focusing on humility is still pride. In other words "I know I am proud so I am going to try to be very humble". This is still based on me, he says true humility is only a bi-product of being close to Jesus. A definition of humility is gladly accepting your deserved position and not your wanted position. When we are close to Christ it is easy to know our position, he is God and my only place worthy to be is at his feet giving thanks.
At the root of all sin is pride, yet we as a society place so much importance of pride and self esteem. My prayer for my life is to see and replicate the humility of Christ, who being God lowered himself not only into flesh but into poverty to save those who despised him... That my friends is humility!
QUESTION OF THE DAY
Through the years I have heard many men of God say this phrase: "Look if you are right and there is no God than you would have gained nothing. But if I am right and there is a God than you stand to lose everything."
I always squirm when I hear it... it just doesn't sit right with me... What do you think, is there anything wrong with this statement?
Not that I think I was proud in my position as youth pastor... I don't think I really was (you may feel different, and the fact I say i am not proud in that position actually signifies a little pride in not being proud) but I suffered with more of an overall pride of life. But I can now look back at many things that has occurred in this new year and see how God is starchily opposing my pride. Whether it was my inauspicious departure, my quick replacement, my foiled plans of a church world tour or of course the great blog fiasco of 2011, I am coming face to face with big pride issues in my life. There are much more intimate moments and personal issues where God is allowing me to let go of my pride but since the great blog fiasco I might just keep'em to myself.
For those of you who do not know about the blog fiasco, a few weeks ago I posted a blog and in discussed the church we are frequenting now. I shared a certain thought that entered my head about the way some things were done and the way someone looked. I in that same moment as the thought popped in my head realized the hypocrisy of judging by appearance and repented for it. Anyway some friends of ours at Crossview read it and then passed it along to many of the staff members at the church. I find out and became very embarrassed by my honesty, they of course were just pumped we like the church but from my view I judged the pastor which could create an awkward and even negative first impression."Hi, My name is Justin, I am a judgemental jerk who doesn't like your shoes and has a very narrow opinion of God, nice to meet you". Anyway this Sunday I went to speak to the Executive pastor and we began to talk and then he realized who I was and said "Hey, You're The Blog Guy!". Humility party of 1!
Anyway all my personal examples aside Mark Driscoll made a point that in that very moment driving home from work shook me to my core. He basically said that humility by focusing on humility is still pride. In other words "I know I am proud so I am going to try to be very humble". This is still based on me, he says true humility is only a bi-product of being close to Jesus. A definition of humility is gladly accepting your deserved position and not your wanted position. When we are close to Christ it is easy to know our position, he is God and my only place worthy to be is at his feet giving thanks.
At the root of all sin is pride, yet we as a society place so much importance of pride and self esteem. My prayer for my life is to see and replicate the humility of Christ, who being God lowered himself not only into flesh but into poverty to save those who despised him... That my friends is humility!
QUESTION OF THE DAY
Through the years I have heard many men of God say this phrase: "Look if you are right and there is no God than you would have gained nothing. But if I am right and there is a God than you stand to lose everything."
I always squirm when I hear it... it just doesn't sit right with me... What do you think, is there anything wrong with this statement?
Monday, February 21, 2011
Ben Matlock or Archie Bunker?
How many times in life have you heard this... Ephesians 4:29 says to let no unwholesome talk come out of your mouth. If you grew up in church or Christian School like I did, this was a verse that was brought to my attention often. As you can guess it wasn't a verse everyone heard a lot, for instance I never remember anyone ever having to tell sweet little Elizabeth Cross, the mild mannered and kind person she was that she needed to watch her mouth. As for ole' Justin on the other hand this was a staple in the "verses thrown my way to get me to behave" category. I, believe it or not, am somewhat known for having a mouth, I can remember many times in my life from school to now having to apologize to a friend for something I said. My issue was I wanted to be funny, I was a short skinny kid with a big head and not much self confidence. I went to school and church in the same building and my life was pretty much in a fishbowl. I overcome my insecurity about who I was and my place in the world by developing a quick and sharp tongue.
Anyways back to Ephesians 4:29, I always heard the unwholesome talk part but I never really remember as a young man anyone telling me the second half of this verse which I feel holds just as strong an instruction as the first half. In it's entirety it says, "Don't let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouth BUT only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs so that it may benefit those who listen". WOW!!!! this is so much more than watching your mouth, to me it is basically saying that it is not just choosing your words to keep from unwholesome talk, it says that every word from our mouth should be beneficial to ALL who hear it. It should build up according to peoples needs, so it is not just about choosing your words carefully to keep them clean, it is about saying words that have power and ability to help those who hear it.
When reading this verse I had this strange question pop in my head, It was "What kind of old man am I going to be"? Because we have all met the two extremes of senior citizens, first is angry old guy... he is the guy who once ran a buggy into my heel at Kroger and told me to "Move It Numb%^$#... (hey it's a family blog, plus considering the context of the subject). He speaks his mind freely and with a shot of vinegar in his words, he calls 'em like he sees 'em... he just sees 'em in a very cynical matter. Then there is the sweet old man, he is full of encouragement and wisdom, through his years he has tempered every part of his life including his tongue so whether times are good or sour his words and actions still encourage those around him. His words are measured and well thought out, when he speaks, he says something... these are the greatest people on the planet... we all love this sweet natured and gentle man. Even in moments when his words may not suit us or we disagree, we can trust his intentions and know his words come not from spite but from love and experience. I realize that at 30 years old I am already deciding which old man I want to be, the buggy guy at Kroger at 30 didn't say "Hey I want to be the kind of senior who give nice young men really deep heel bruises at Kroger". I think changing my verbal habits at this stage in life gives me a much better chance of being more Ben Matlock than Archie Bunker!
Anyways back to Ephesians 4:29, I always heard the unwholesome talk part but I never really remember as a young man anyone telling me the second half of this verse which I feel holds just as strong an instruction as the first half. In it's entirety it says, "Don't let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouth BUT only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs so that it may benefit those who listen". WOW!!!! this is so much more than watching your mouth, to me it is basically saying that it is not just choosing your words to keep from unwholesome talk, it says that every word from our mouth should be beneficial to ALL who hear it. It should build up according to peoples needs, so it is not just about choosing your words carefully to keep them clean, it is about saying words that have power and ability to help those who hear it.
When reading this verse I had this strange question pop in my head, It was "What kind of old man am I going to be"? Because we have all met the two extremes of senior citizens, first is angry old guy... he is the guy who once ran a buggy into my heel at Kroger and told me to "Move It Numb%^$#... (hey it's a family blog, plus considering the context of the subject). He speaks his mind freely and with a shot of vinegar in his words, he calls 'em like he sees 'em... he just sees 'em in a very cynical matter. Then there is the sweet old man, he is full of encouragement and wisdom, through his years he has tempered every part of his life including his tongue so whether times are good or sour his words and actions still encourage those around him. His words are measured and well thought out, when he speaks, he says something... these are the greatest people on the planet... we all love this sweet natured and gentle man. Even in moments when his words may not suit us or we disagree, we can trust his intentions and know his words come not from spite but from love and experience. I realize that at 30 years old I am already deciding which old man I want to be, the buggy guy at Kroger at 30 didn't say "Hey I want to be the kind of senior who give nice young men really deep heel bruises at Kroger". I think changing my verbal habits at this stage in life gives me a much better chance of being more Ben Matlock than Archie Bunker!
Monday, February 14, 2011
Crossview, Cupcakes, Converse and Crushed Cynicism
Dear Lord;
Please help me to overcome my preconceived notions of who you are and how you work.
A pretty pathetic prayer when you consider it is coming from a guy who has been following Christ for a long time and even worked at a church for a long while... yet if I am being completely honest about where I am right now this prayer reflects directly the flaw in my thought process. I had decided for God how and when he worked, I had also decided how this new church thing was going to work. This isn't the first time I have come to this realization, it is just as I continue on my journey with more experience and intelligence grows new arrogance.
God says "Step Down from your position at Cross Walk"
I say, "You got it God... after this summer!"
God then makes a way for the church to find a new person (doing a great job I hear BTW) and I am gone by February.
God says, "It is time for you guys to find a new church"
I say, "Awesome God, I know just what we will do... I will take the first few months to visit all the churches around town, make notes and compare them than make an educated decision based on my awesome system (I even made sheets to rate our experience).
God says via Rachel and Lily Sunday after our first visit, " Let's come back here next week, I really really liked it!, (well Lily was just excited about cupcakes and new toys)".
So here we sit quite possibly one and done after one week! We went to Crossview in Rockmart and absolutely LOVED it. This was Rachel's first choice, I was cynical for reasons that will be discussed later but man did God really blow me away. I did try even in my cynicism to come with an open mind and willingness to be honest about the experience but deep down knew I would leave saying "I knew it wasn't for us". Instead I was challenged to my very core by this guy about my age in a plaid shirt (everyone wears plaid shirts) and converse. The Holy Spirit was very evident in that refurbished gymnasium and I was convicted not only by the message but by revealing an arrogance in me concerning the methods of God.
I had become such an "expert" of "church stuff" or so I thought, I sat in my church environment and made grand judgements (not out loud so much) on what was going on in the churches surrounding me. " Oh yeah that church, they are all about numbers" I would think. "As long as they look cool and draw people they don't care." Or I would think, "That church is ran like a corporation, they could care less as long as they meet the bottom line". I also looked at churches with young pastors, contemporary music and a certain style and would scoff " What a bunch of hipsters... Jesus isn't hip! What will they do when they are no longer hip?" I sat in there too lazy and judgemental to actually find out what these others were actually doing.
So back to Sunday as I met the pastor I noticed the converse, the hair and jeans, I thought well this will be interesting... Praise God I didn't allow that thought to close my mind. Because shortly after that I remember a conversation I had with an older member concerning a youth wearing a hat in the building at CWC, he wanted the kid to take it off, the kids hair looked terrible and he would rather have left. I challenged this man on why it truly mattered, and actually succeeded in allowing the student to keep his hat(and in his mind his dignity). Suddenly I felt this hypocrisy come over me standing in the atrium of this church. What right do I have to judge this guy because he isn''t dressing up. I am basically doing the same thing that drove me crazy concerning adults and their treatment of youth over the past ten years. That guy prays to God in his pajamas, so why would God be offended by him presenting God's word in his natural attire, so I had to ask myself, "What gives me the right to be offended or even care about how he looks." In service it didn't take long to get past the look of the man because the holy spirit was hitting me left and right in there I left that sanctuary a changed man not only by the message relating to my duties as a husband (that was the sermon) but a much smaller and humbled follower of Jesus.
Preconceived Notions are dead, God is not exclusive to the simple thoughts of simple people. His ways are SO big and broad that he can overlook the narrow views of the church to reach out to many using many different kinds of means. The Lord is truly amazing and I thank him for continually growing me and changing me!
No question this week.
Please help me to overcome my preconceived notions of who you are and how you work.
A pretty pathetic prayer when you consider it is coming from a guy who has been following Christ for a long time and even worked at a church for a long while... yet if I am being completely honest about where I am right now this prayer reflects directly the flaw in my thought process. I had decided for God how and when he worked, I had also decided how this new church thing was going to work. This isn't the first time I have come to this realization, it is just as I continue on my journey with more experience and intelligence grows new arrogance.
God says "Step Down from your position at Cross Walk"
I say, "You got it God... after this summer!"
God then makes a way for the church to find a new person (doing a great job I hear BTW) and I am gone by February.
God says, "It is time for you guys to find a new church"
I say, "Awesome God, I know just what we will do... I will take the first few months to visit all the churches around town, make notes and compare them than make an educated decision based on my awesome system (I even made sheets to rate our experience).
God says via Rachel and Lily Sunday after our first visit, " Let's come back here next week, I really really liked it!, (well Lily was just excited about cupcakes and new toys)".
So here we sit quite possibly one and done after one week! We went to Crossview in Rockmart and absolutely LOVED it. This was Rachel's first choice, I was cynical for reasons that will be discussed later but man did God really blow me away. I did try even in my cynicism to come with an open mind and willingness to be honest about the experience but deep down knew I would leave saying "I knew it wasn't for us". Instead I was challenged to my very core by this guy about my age in a plaid shirt (everyone wears plaid shirts) and converse. The Holy Spirit was very evident in that refurbished gymnasium and I was convicted not only by the message but by revealing an arrogance in me concerning the methods of God.
I had become such an "expert" of "church stuff" or so I thought, I sat in my church environment and made grand judgements (not out loud so much) on what was going on in the churches surrounding me. " Oh yeah that church, they are all about numbers" I would think. "As long as they look cool and draw people they don't care." Or I would think, "That church is ran like a corporation, they could care less as long as they meet the bottom line". I also looked at churches with young pastors, contemporary music and a certain style and would scoff " What a bunch of hipsters... Jesus isn't hip! What will they do when they are no longer hip?" I sat in there too lazy and judgemental to actually find out what these others were actually doing.
So back to Sunday as I met the pastor I noticed the converse, the hair and jeans, I thought well this will be interesting... Praise God I didn't allow that thought to close my mind. Because shortly after that I remember a conversation I had with an older member concerning a youth wearing a hat in the building at CWC, he wanted the kid to take it off, the kids hair looked terrible and he would rather have left. I challenged this man on why it truly mattered, and actually succeeded in allowing the student to keep his hat(and in his mind his dignity). Suddenly I felt this hypocrisy come over me standing in the atrium of this church. What right do I have to judge this guy because he isn''t dressing up. I am basically doing the same thing that drove me crazy concerning adults and their treatment of youth over the past ten years. That guy prays to God in his pajamas, so why would God be offended by him presenting God's word in his natural attire, so I had to ask myself, "What gives me the right to be offended or even care about how he looks." In service it didn't take long to get past the look of the man because the holy spirit was hitting me left and right in there I left that sanctuary a changed man not only by the message relating to my duties as a husband (that was the sermon) but a much smaller and humbled follower of Jesus.
Preconceived Notions are dead, God is not exclusive to the simple thoughts of simple people. His ways are SO big and broad that he can overlook the narrow views of the church to reach out to many using many different kinds of means. The Lord is truly amazing and I thank him for continually growing me and changing me!
No question this week.
Monday, February 7, 2011
Intrawebs, David Tomlin, Grannies, Lies, Roman Catholics.and Oh Yeah... Beattitudes!
So I am exited next Sunday we visit our first church, it has been narrowed down to three but I am still researching and checking them out on the intraweb. I as though in a lot of ways I am standing on the edge of something big... I don't know what it is or what it will mean for me personally but just the thought of the possibilities are awesome. Much of me is tired of anticipation and ready to get down to it, so next weeks blog should be very interesting!
On to my question last week, I ask you to put those specific 5 areas (not the only 5) in order of importance to you specifically, they were Denomination, Fellowship, Message, Music and Tots. The responses were pretty well what I expected. Based on who you were and what was going in in your life is how it broke down. Mom's placed importance on tots, students on fellowship, some said message, everyone was middle ground on music.
Basically I opened that Pandora's Box to back a trend I see in the American Church, I believe that (some) churches that want to see results in the way of large crowds can often use these areas of "Church" to draw people. A church hires youth pastors and children pastors so kids will be excited, so in turn their parents will be excited and attend regularly. They bring on big time worship leaders, spend thousands upon thousands of dollars to make "worship" cutting edge and rocking. Pastors tell made up stories from pulpits placing their names and personal information in to cause a reaction from the body whether it is laughter or tears. Finally (here we go) people who don't know half of their denominational beliefs tow a line of denominational loyalty completely ignorant of not only what others believe but what they believe as well... Granny was a Methodist so I'm a Methodist (stayed away from the SBC this time).
Let me start my feelings on these 5 issues by stating that all 5 have a place in the church. Giving kids something to do and teaching them the basics is beneficial, We need preachers who can convey the message of the Gospel and lead believers to deeper walks with conviction and care. Fellowship with other when done correctly is strengthening and a beautiful help in our walk with Christ. I know I have a history which includes periods where I non-denomed (and I may again) but I see the purpose and value of denominations... I really do. And music, well to me you need music, i don't know about placing so much importance on relevance to the point you spend so much money... but to each his own. In other words, there is no bad part of the 5 choices.
To me in the end it all comes back to the gospel, it all comes down to discipleship and the role the church plays in that. It is about worship, not with guitars and large speakers playing the hippest David Tomlin song out there but rather worship from the humble heart of those who truly love and adore God. It is about being a shoulder for someone who is overwhelmed, a dollar for someone who is broke. It is about being CHRISTIANS, the beatitudes alive and walking today. Too often though the church (organizations) misdirects the attention of it's people by drawing our attention on insignificant things such as affiliation, style, flash and religious traditions that bear no resemblance to anything in God's Word. It is time the church (the people) rise beyond the consumer driven church programming of the day, to stop looking for where you can be entertained and find where you can be used. It is like that Roman Catholic JFK once said ask not yada yada yada (you know it). Instead we should be asking not what God can do for me through the church but what I can do for God in all areas of my life (including church). This is my focus and goal moving forward as we find our new place... I want to challenge you to as well!
Next question for you guys.
Who was your biggest influence on your spiritual life as a kid? (0-18)
Who was your biggest influence on your spiritual life as an adult? (18-present)
Explain who they were aka. Sunday school teacher, pastor, youth guy, parent, grandparent...
On to my question last week, I ask you to put those specific 5 areas (not the only 5) in order of importance to you specifically, they were Denomination, Fellowship, Message, Music and Tots. The responses were pretty well what I expected. Based on who you were and what was going in in your life is how it broke down. Mom's placed importance on tots, students on fellowship, some said message, everyone was middle ground on music.
Basically I opened that Pandora's Box to back a trend I see in the American Church, I believe that (some) churches that want to see results in the way of large crowds can often use these areas of "Church" to draw people. A church hires youth pastors and children pastors so kids will be excited, so in turn their parents will be excited and attend regularly. They bring on big time worship leaders, spend thousands upon thousands of dollars to make "worship" cutting edge and rocking. Pastors tell made up stories from pulpits placing their names and personal information in to cause a reaction from the body whether it is laughter or tears. Finally (here we go) people who don't know half of their denominational beliefs tow a line of denominational loyalty completely ignorant of not only what others believe but what they believe as well... Granny was a Methodist so I'm a Methodist (stayed away from the SBC this time).
Let me start my feelings on these 5 issues by stating that all 5 have a place in the church. Giving kids something to do and teaching them the basics is beneficial, We need preachers who can convey the message of the Gospel and lead believers to deeper walks with conviction and care. Fellowship with other when done correctly is strengthening and a beautiful help in our walk with Christ. I know I have a history which includes periods where I non-denomed (and I may again) but I see the purpose and value of denominations... I really do. And music, well to me you need music, i don't know about placing so much importance on relevance to the point you spend so much money... but to each his own. In other words, there is no bad part of the 5 choices.
To me in the end it all comes back to the gospel, it all comes down to discipleship and the role the church plays in that. It is about worship, not with guitars and large speakers playing the hippest David Tomlin song out there but rather worship from the humble heart of those who truly love and adore God. It is about being a shoulder for someone who is overwhelmed, a dollar for someone who is broke. It is about being CHRISTIANS, the beatitudes alive and walking today. Too often though the church (organizations) misdirects the attention of it's people by drawing our attention on insignificant things such as affiliation, style, flash and religious traditions that bear no resemblance to anything in God's Word. It is time the church (the people) rise beyond the consumer driven church programming of the day, to stop looking for where you can be entertained and find where you can be used. It is like that Roman Catholic JFK once said ask not yada yada yada (you know it). Instead we should be asking not what God can do for me through the church but what I can do for God in all areas of my life (including church). This is my focus and goal moving forward as we find our new place... I want to challenge you to as well!
Next question for you guys.
Who was your biggest influence on your spiritual life as a kid? (0-18)
Who was your biggest influence on your spiritual life as an adult? (18-present)
Explain who they were aka. Sunday school teacher, pastor, youth guy, parent, grandparent...
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
The Call Me The Wanderer....
Well we made it through, Last week was our final week of youth ministry at Cross Walk Chapel. Wednesday night the kids were really awesome,,, I never counted but there was ALOT of folks upstairs to show their love and support to our family, It was a great time. Then Sunday morning we finished off our last Sunday Morning at Cross Walk which was strange and surreal. Since I have explained to the board of the church our intentions I see no wrong in telling you all that we are going to visit new churches.
So this is a new and exciting time for me, my church experience has been pretty routine. I started going to Praise when I was 3, went there until I was 17 when I began attending New Canaan. At New Canaan began working in Student ministry, At 20 took a Middle School Pastor Job at Trinity Fellowship, stayed heir until 2002 when I went back home to Praise where I stayed until 2005 when I went to Cross Walk. Although while it looks like a lot of moves, going from one church to another due to new opportunities as a minister is quite different from just finding a new church. For instance we didn't shop around, one Sunday i am getting a goodbye from one group then the next Sunday I am being welcomed to a new one. It is just a different kind of experience.
So now I hope you kind of understand why we are excited at the opportunity to visit around, not excited so much to leave one but excited at the possibilities involved with all the others. If you have had negative experiences looking for a church PLEASE do not respond and tell me how horrible your experience was. I am sure there will be certain down sides to this transitional time but we choose to focus on only the great possibilities right now, so don't be a Debbie Downer. Also a few people have hinted at us visiting their church... and while we appreciate the offers and may just come visit to spend a Sunday with friends, we are actually looking for a church in Dallas, Villa Rica or Rockmart. We want to get closer to home but if you go to a church around there let us know!
Okay so today I wanted to really pose my first question to you, my loyal followers, This question is to just get an idea of how you feel about the subject, not to create a great debate on the comment page. I will not respond to questions basically just because the question will be the subject of a future Blog.
Brewer's Question of the Week
Place in order from 1 to 5 (1 most important, 5 least important) the personal importance of these specific parts of a church experience( I know there are more, let's just focus here for now). If you would like to explain why that would be great...if you just want to list'em you can do that as well.
Your choices in no specific order:
Fellowship (Sunday school, small groups, events (although i am aware there is more than fellowship in these things... you get the idea))
Music (Style, Skill)
Message (Pastors presentation of the word, style, personal growth or conviction through preached word )
Denominational Ties (government and system of beliefs)
The Tots (children's, youth, nursery)
So this is a new and exciting time for me, my church experience has been pretty routine. I started going to Praise when I was 3, went there until I was 17 when I began attending New Canaan. At New Canaan began working in Student ministry, At 20 took a Middle School Pastor Job at Trinity Fellowship, stayed heir until 2002 when I went back home to Praise where I stayed until 2005 when I went to Cross Walk. Although while it looks like a lot of moves, going from one church to another due to new opportunities as a minister is quite different from just finding a new church. For instance we didn't shop around, one Sunday i am getting a goodbye from one group then the next Sunday I am being welcomed to a new one. It is just a different kind of experience.
So now I hope you kind of understand why we are excited at the opportunity to visit around, not excited so much to leave one but excited at the possibilities involved with all the others. If you have had negative experiences looking for a church PLEASE do not respond and tell me how horrible your experience was. I am sure there will be certain down sides to this transitional time but we choose to focus on only the great possibilities right now, so don't be a Debbie Downer. Also a few people have hinted at us visiting their church... and while we appreciate the offers and may just come visit to spend a Sunday with friends, we are actually looking for a church in Dallas, Villa Rica or Rockmart. We want to get closer to home but if you go to a church around there let us know!
Okay so today I wanted to really pose my first question to you, my loyal followers, This question is to just get an idea of how you feel about the subject, not to create a great debate on the comment page. I will not respond to questions basically just because the question will be the subject of a future Blog.
Brewer's Question of the Week
Place in order from 1 to 5 (1 most important, 5 least important) the personal importance of these specific parts of a church experience( I know there are more, let's just focus here for now). If you would like to explain why that would be great...if you just want to list'em you can do that as well.
Your choices in no specific order:
Fellowship (Sunday school, small groups, events (although i am aware there is more than fellowship in these things... you get the idea))
Music (Style, Skill)
Message (Pastors presentation of the word, style, personal growth or conviction through preached word )
Denominational Ties (government and system of beliefs)
The Tots (children's, youth, nursery)
Saturday, January 22, 2011
The amazing love of the amazing people who love me... amazingly!
This decision to move away from youth ministry was a very hard decision to make, the process looking back took about a year. For that year this decision felt much like a disease just wearing at my brain and heart. On one hand I KNEW my time was up, that I needed to move on not only for myself but for my students as well. On the other hand was fear, fear that I would regret it, fear of what came next and most of all a fear of the reactions of the people I love. In my time as a youth guy I have worked at three churches and have had terrible experiences leaving. One in particular where I still hear rumblings of disdain toward me. I did not want this at Cross Walk, I love these people and have spent the best 5 years of my time in youth with them. But like Blind Melon says, "Life is hard, you have to change. MhMMMM M-MM- M- MMMMM" (that is Shannon Hoon humming).
So I finally came to grips with it and told everyone, fully expecting a few angry folks, some judgemental looks or just a little cold shoulder... instead I get hugs, uplifting words and understanding. Now at this point we had not fully made up our minds on what was next, we felt pretty strong we wanted to visit around but wasn't sure. So then comes the day (2 weeks later) where I have to tell them we decided will be leaving Cross Walk to visit around... Here comes the frustration, the cold shoulder and silent treatment. WRONG, once again hugs, understanding words and even Chicken and Rice (Thanks Vicky!). Even the emotionally charged hormone machines also known as teens seem to understand and was more than loving and supportive Wednesday night.
The church board also voted to allow Jamie (a friend who has been helping me for a few years now) to take over the youth which is a big worry off of me, knowing that those guys have a leader who cares and will be faithful is awesome. In the end I find the love and support of the awesome people in my life incredible. The love and support of family and friends has been evident and abundant. The understanding and love of the folks at Cross Walk has been amazing and truly unbelievable. The chin up attitude and love and support of the youth has been a blessing and their hugs and kind words are the medicine for what is ailing me now. I have seen the true measure of Godly love in this rough patch of my life... Thank You all for loving me (for some reason beyond me).
After the last blog... thought I would stay on the sunny side!
So I finally came to grips with it and told everyone, fully expecting a few angry folks, some judgemental looks or just a little cold shoulder... instead I get hugs, uplifting words and understanding. Now at this point we had not fully made up our minds on what was next, we felt pretty strong we wanted to visit around but wasn't sure. So then comes the day (2 weeks later) where I have to tell them we decided will be leaving Cross Walk to visit around... Here comes the frustration, the cold shoulder and silent treatment. WRONG, once again hugs, understanding words and even Chicken and Rice (Thanks Vicky!). Even the emotionally charged hormone machines also known as teens seem to understand and was more than loving and supportive Wednesday night.
The church board also voted to allow Jamie (a friend who has been helping me for a few years now) to take over the youth which is a big worry off of me, knowing that those guys have a leader who cares and will be faithful is awesome. In the end I find the love and support of the awesome people in my life incredible. The love and support of family and friends has been evident and abundant. The understanding and love of the folks at Cross Walk has been amazing and truly unbelievable. The chin up attitude and love and support of the youth has been a blessing and their hugs and kind words are the medicine for what is ailing me now. I have seen the true measure of Godly love in this rough patch of my life... Thank You all for loving me (for some reason beyond me).
After the last blog... thought I would stay on the sunny side!
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
No better place to start...
There is a lot of truth to the old saying, "There is no better place to start than the beginning" which is basically where we will start this journey. Well I say we... I don't really know why anyone would sit and read this but I think it is a good idea and a positive way to chronicle this time in my life. So in this blog I will speak of two sets of we. First will of course be my family we, my wife Rachel and Daughter Lily and shortly my baby boy Justus Eugene. The second we I will speak of is myself and the probably fictional readers of this blog.
Anyway back to the start, Effective February I will no longer wear the title of youth guy or pastor or leader or whatever you like. Instead I will become title less which sounds like titleist which is my favorite kind of golf ball. I will become church goer guy which is a title that I am actually looking forward to. Since I am 12 years in Youth Ministry at 30 that means I pretty much went from sitting in youth to leading it. I have never gone to an adult class, Sunday school get together or a small group. My church experience has never really left the youth room which is why church goer guy sounds pretty good.
That is not to say that my time as youth guy hasn't been awesome... it has been incredible and the memories made are too awesome to ever forget. I loved being youth guy, I really did! But like most seasons of life it had to pass. Now with a few weeks left I face the bitter sting of change as I spend time with those I am making a decision to leave. I hope they understand but kind of get it if they don't, hopefully in time the years of love and my life I gave them will help them to remember me fondly when they are older.
So this is it... I wish I could tell you more about what will be discussed on this blog, I figure it will be filled with my thoughts on church and other spiritual matters as well as questions posed to you to see how my loyal blog followers (no one) feel about the current topic of the day. Overall this will be a place that I will discuss the spiritual part of my life so if you were here to know my favorite band or movie... well it is The Beatles and Cool Hand Luke... but from here on spiritual.
So in the words of a beer commercial... Here WE Go!
Anyway back to the start, Effective February I will no longer wear the title of youth guy or pastor or leader or whatever you like. Instead I will become title less which sounds like titleist which is my favorite kind of golf ball. I will become church goer guy which is a title that I am actually looking forward to. Since I am 12 years in Youth Ministry at 30 that means I pretty much went from sitting in youth to leading it. I have never gone to an adult class, Sunday school get together or a small group. My church experience has never really left the youth room which is why church goer guy sounds pretty good.
That is not to say that my time as youth guy hasn't been awesome... it has been incredible and the memories made are too awesome to ever forget. I loved being youth guy, I really did! But like most seasons of life it had to pass. Now with a few weeks left I face the bitter sting of change as I spend time with those I am making a decision to leave. I hope they understand but kind of get it if they don't, hopefully in time the years of love and my life I gave them will help them to remember me fondly when they are older.
So this is it... I wish I could tell you more about what will be discussed on this blog, I figure it will be filled with my thoughts on church and other spiritual matters as well as questions posed to you to see how my loyal blog followers (no one) feel about the current topic of the day. Overall this will be a place that I will discuss the spiritual part of my life so if you were here to know my favorite band or movie... well it is The Beatles and Cool Hand Luke... but from here on spiritual.
So in the words of a beer commercial... Here WE Go!
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