This decision to move away from youth ministry was a very hard decision to make, the process looking back took about a year. For that year this decision felt much like a disease just wearing at my brain and heart. On one hand I KNEW my time was up, that I needed to move on not only for myself but for my students as well. On the other hand was fear, fear that I would regret it, fear of what came next and most of all a fear of the reactions of the people I love. In my time as a youth guy I have worked at three churches and have had terrible experiences leaving. One in particular where I still hear rumblings of disdain toward me. I did not want this at Cross Walk, I love these people and have spent the best 5 years of my time in youth with them. But like Blind Melon says, "Life is hard, you have to change. MhMMMM M-MM- M- MMMMM" (that is Shannon Hoon humming).
So I finally came to grips with it and told everyone, fully expecting a few angry folks, some judgemental looks or just a little cold shoulder... instead I get hugs, uplifting words and understanding. Now at this point we had not fully made up our minds on what was next, we felt pretty strong we wanted to visit around but wasn't sure. So then comes the day (2 weeks later) where I have to tell them we decided will be leaving Cross Walk to visit around... Here comes the frustration, the cold shoulder and silent treatment. WRONG, once again hugs, understanding words and even Chicken and Rice (Thanks Vicky!). Even the emotionally charged hormone machines also known as teens seem to understand and was more than loving and supportive Wednesday night.
The church board also voted to allow Jamie (a friend who has been helping me for a few years now) to take over the youth which is a big worry off of me, knowing that those guys have a leader who cares and will be faithful is awesome. In the end I find the love and support of the awesome people in my life incredible. The love and support of family and friends has been evident and abundant. The understanding and love of the folks at Cross Walk has been amazing and truly unbelievable. The chin up attitude and love and support of the youth has been a blessing and their hugs and kind words are the medicine for what is ailing me now. I have seen the true measure of Godly love in this rough patch of my life... Thank You all for loving me (for some reason beyond me).
After the last blog... thought I would stay on the sunny side!
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