Ben Matlock or Archie Bunker?

How many times in life have you heard this... Ephesians 4:29 says to let no unwholesome talk come out of your mouth. If you grew up in church or Christian School like I did, this was a verse that was brought to my attention often. As you can guess it wasn't a verse everyone heard a lot, for instance I never remember anyone ever having to tell sweet little Elizabeth Cross, the mild mannered and kind person she was that she needed to watch her mouth. As for ole' Justin on the other hand this was a staple in the "verses thrown my way to get me to behave" category. I, believe it or not, am somewhat known for having a mouth, I can remember many times in my life from school to now having to apologize to a friend for something I said. My issue was I wanted to be funny, I was a short skinny kid with a big head and not much self confidence. I went to school and church in the same building and my life was pretty much in a fishbowl. I overcome my insecurity about who I was and my place in the world by developing a quick and sharp tongue.

Anyways back to Ephesians 4:29, I always heard the unwholesome talk part but I never really remember as a young man anyone telling me the second half of this verse which I feel holds just as strong an instruction as the first half. In it's entirety it says, "Don't let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouth BUT only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs so that it may benefit those who listen". WOW!!!! this is so much more than watching your mouth, to me it is basically saying that it is not just choosing your words to keep from unwholesome talk, it says that every word from our mouth should be beneficial to ALL who hear it. It should build up according to peoples needs, so it is not just about choosing your words carefully to keep them clean, it is about saying words that have power and ability to help those who hear it. 

When reading this verse I had this strange question pop in my head, It was "What kind of old man am I going to be"? Because we have all met the two extremes of senior citizens, first is angry old guy... he is the guy who once ran a buggy into my heel at Kroger and told me to "Move It Numb%^$#... (hey it's a family blog, plus considering the context of the subject). He speaks his mind freely and with a shot of vinegar in his words, he calls 'em like he sees 'em... he just sees 'em in a very cynical matter. Then there is the sweet old man, he is full of encouragement and wisdom, through his years he has tempered every part of his life including his tongue so whether times are good or sour his words and actions still encourage those around him. His words are measured and well thought out, when he speaks, he says something... these are the greatest people on the planet... we all love this sweet natured and gentle man. Even in moments when his words may not suit us or we disagree, we can trust his intentions and know his words come not from spite but from love and experience. I realize that at 30 years old I am already deciding which old man I want to be, the buggy guy at Kroger at 30 didn't say "Hey I want to be the kind of senior who give nice young men really deep heel bruises at Kroger". I think changing my verbal habits at this stage in life gives me a much better chance of being more Ben Matlock than Archie Bunker!