Last night on the way home from work right around Buchanan Hwy my fuel light came on, now I of course was not surprised by this since all day I had watched as my needle drifted closer and closer with an almost reckless abandon to the Big E. Now tired and dirty from a day at the office I found myself having to make a choice, do I stop at Scott's on the way home and fuel up or do I deal with it in the morning? Most of you who know me understand that as a level 10 procrastinator it took me all of five seconds to decide to put it off. When I got up this morning I was running around frantically (as always) and I remembered I didn't get gas.
Normally this is fine but on this day I was running out of time and I did not have a debit card. This means I would have to go in to the store and long story... well long, when i made it there and got in line I got behind the dreaded lottery lady, you know her, she can only order one ticket at a time and has to really look for 30 seconds or so before she decides on each of her fifteen tickets. Behind her and in front of me was Mr. Specific Cigarette (although his work uniform said Mike, I choose to call him Mr Specific Cigarette), he needed camel special blend or something like that, it took the lady forever to find them found them, then he informed her he needed a soft pack. This all before I could even pump my gas! Then of course because I paid cash I had that super slow pumping final fifty cents of gas that actually takes longer than the first twenty nine dollars and fifty cents.
I say all that to prove how bad I hate getting gas, I put it off until I get myself in a bind like I did this morning... it is just who I am. Sadly often my spiritual life is much like the tank of my Titan, I neglect it in the name of procrastination, not as an act of disobedience persay, more of a act of thoughtlessness . Based on conversations I have had with other folks I don't think I am alone in this act of pushing aside spiritual things. I get so wrapped up in the here and now that I try to coast by on previous fill-ups. I neglect time with God and try to coast up life's bumpy roads and to most it looks as everything is kosher but inside I am drained and about ready to break down.
Much like an engine there are tale-tale signs of spiritual low fuel, an engine stops when empty but a spiritual emptiness reveals itself through action. For me these actions are often being quick to anger, short on love, impatient with people, cynical, critical, disobedient and selfish. I find myself in these moments of low fueliness (I am aware that is not a word) blinded to the big picture and the ways of God and begin to focus attention squarely back on me, I can say with confidence I am not being like Christ in these times.
Just as a car and a soul needs fuel so does the body, the bible gives a great analogy when it describes the characteristics of a life fueled by the spirit in Galatians when he describes "The Fruit of the Spirit". These traits are love, joy, peace, long suffering, kindness,goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control. To me I see the fruit in the sense of food as well (imagine that!). I think of it this way, when I eat right my body preforms correctly. When my diet consist of fruit and healthy options I have more energy, less fat, lower cholesterol and clearer skin compared to when I eat a lot of fast food and junk. Likewise when I allow the spirit (through spending time in the word, prayer, worship and fellowship) to teach me, guide me and correct me, I grow more spiritually healthy due to the good nutrients I am putting in my soul over the selfish junk that fill this place when I allow myself to approach the spiritual E.
My prayer is that I would stop being like that ditty by Jackson Browne (Running on Empty) and more like that VBS song Pastor Tommy sung (give me gas in my ford, keep me truckin' for the Lord). Life is too hilly and bumpy to try to coast on fumes, I need to fill the tank everyday!
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